Letter from Margaret Duncan on family correspondence and living with her aunt

Union Falls, N.Y. Feb 3rd
Rev. H. Lyman
Forest Grove, Oregon

Dear Uncle,

Last week, I rec'd nothing from you_ was some afraid that my letters had offended you or at least wearied you, but last Wednesday (Feb. 1st). I rec'd a double portion from you: one mailed Jan. 12th & another the 19th, the latter having come more direct by than any I have received from you. It seems very pleasant to have one come so soon.

I need not say that they were truly welcome & very interesting.

Each of your letters is more precious to me, than the preceding.

I fear that I made you a great deal of trouble by speaking of mother's going to Oregon. Forgive me for my thoughtlessness; please! It seems to have put you to the trouble of planning an addition to your house etc. etc. It would have been better, perhaps, had I first ascertained something of her wishes in the matter. Now, I hardly dare ask it but I think I must a little longer extension of your patience before I give you a decisive answer to your truly kind & gracious offer.

A few days since I rec'd from one of my dear aunts my father's sister, such a good letter, (freighted with love & affection, that I know she truly cherishes towards me.) that I have concluded I must consult her, before I enter into an engagement for life. Now, I trust you will not think I am to keep you waiting to ask each of my relatives, one at a time, this consent, in the case. I feel under great obligations to this dear aunt, for she has been like a mother to me & I sometimes think she loves me, more than my Mother does. When I was quite young, at her earnest solicitation, I was allowed to go to Meriden, New Hampshire to attend school & her house was my home. She has always been very dear to me since.

She has often expressed a wish that I might live with her. She has no daughters & her sons neither one lives with her, though she of late years spends her winters at the house of her oldest son a lawyer in Boston. I quote a little from her letter. 'I am free to say my dear niece, you are increasingly dear to me, & many times during the later years of my life, I have thought if I could have you with me, as a daughter, I should as far as earthly good can do it, be satisfied. But I well know your mother and your own family have the first claim upon you.' She is nearly 82, but her mind is quite vigorous. I had in a letter I wrote to her a while before interpreted that there was something unusual on my mind, though I did not tell her its nature. She says in reference to this, We still have an Almighty, ever present help who can do for us more & better than we do, as can, ask. So I hope we will trust Him who so loved us, that He gave His only begotten Son to redeem us. With Him, then, I think He will freely give us all things needful if we only come to Him in a filial spirit. Are we in any perplexity, His word says if any man lack wisdom let him ask of God who giveth etc. Do not let us cheat ourselves of this unestimable privilege.' I should not feel obliged to abide by her decision but should feel better to state the case to her & have her advice: and while waiting for a reply from her, will try to ascertain something of Mother's wishes in the matter.

I believe it is harder for me to do this than it often is for a man to 'pop the question' & that I suppose is sometimes rather perplexing.

You probably know that my sister has been married for more than 2 years. She began house-keeping last fall. Her house is less than 1/2 mile from ours_ so we see her often. Mother has never seemed to expect to make her home with her. F. and J. have expected she would always live with us. She has enough property so that she will not need to be a burden to any one. But I should feel better to have her go with me should I go to O. if she felt willing to do so. You were certainly very kind to be so ready to speak of making a place for her & I sincerely thank you for it. Her health is much better than it has been for several winters before, but the many sudden changes in the weather are very trying to her though she doesnt go out of doors this cold weather. Since I last wrote to you, we have had our coldest (so far) of the season. The mercury went down to 28 below 0.

In 18 hours (& I presume considerably less as we did not watch to thermometer through the night) there was a fall of the mercury about 50 and 2 or 3 days after, it rose considerably faster than it went down. You speak of my feeling that perhaps I should be running too great a risk, should I accept your offer. The risk I fear, is that I might get into a place, for which I am not fitted.

I fear you might not find me so much of a help, in your good work as you seem to expect.

I am pleased to hear that there is a good work in progress in your place. I trust it may go on & increase in power.

Does Mary continue to teach Indian Children? That seems to me to be a very commendable work, & one which promises much good.

As to your photograph; I think I gave you to understand that it was pleasant to me. I like it more & more & am in such danger of getting it worn out, I look at it so often. I write in a hurry & I trust you will excuse the many mistake which you will probably detect. Hoping to hear from you again soon.

as ever Margaret

From Margaret