Letter from Mrs. A.E. Forrey on delays in writing and visits from friends

Portland Nov 5th/80

Prof. H Lyman Forest Grove

Dear Sir,

Your letters have both been duly received & again I feel that I owe you an apology in so long delaying an answer, but I can scarcely realize that it is nearly a month since the date of the first [three?] times has flown so rapidly away. At the Sunday school convention I was both delegate and [?] on refreshments which we served at the church two days in succession & immediately after that I was invited out to dinner four days in succession & that was followed with a two days sick headache besides various other things have made demands upon my time still all this ought not to have prevented my replying to your letter & would not have done so had I been decided in regard to what I ought to say to you. I purposed to comply to your wish to visit to the grove but the invitation which I had from the Cornelius family is of so long ago that I have felt somewhat delicate about going unless I would see them here in town as I frequently do & they should renew the invitation, but I have not seen any of them this fall. But all this is not the point “To be or not to be that is the question” I am to decide, I might say simply Yes or No as the case might be & keep back from you the thoughts which crowd themselves upon me & perhaps you would be better pleased if I should do so but to me this is a [?] question & I feel that I have no right to cast it from us without becoming fully persuaded that I am doing just what God would have me do. My life I trust is an [?] to Him to be as to do just what He would have me & so I can be in but sympathy with you in the work which you are doing & still I don’t feel sure that I should be any help to you. But while I stand alone as a distinct & separate individual my influence for good may be much more potent than when merged into our whole power & influence are so superior to mine. If I felt in the least restless or dissatisfied with my present place in the world I should not find it so difficult to decide to make a change. I have just received a letter from my sister in reply to one I wrote her telling her of your proposal to me and giving her all the facts in every possession in regard to yourself and family. She says to see if you do not accept that offer I think you will be very unwise. Why she says do you persist in living alone in the world & you know she says I have often told you you ought to be a minister’s wife & then she would feel so much better about me if I had a good husband than to have me here all alone. But I have been alone so long that it does not seem anything dreadful to me & I think I grow more & more fearful of making a change. If you are tired of my indecision and desire to drop this I shall accept this as alright, but if you desire to write me or visit me again you are at liberty to do so.

Yours Sincerely, Mrs. A.E. Forrey